32 before 32

So in 3 day I will be over 30.... I love birthdays and I am not one of those people who freaks out about this but I am a bit nervous about turning 31.... I mean it is over 30.... I remember when that seemed to far far away! Where did all the time go? What have I done this year of any importance? If I think hard I know that we finished for the most part the kitchen..(almost not quite which still makes me sad) I have read more and booked weddings on my own, I have gotten a better clientele at work which means I am making better money which has added to better control of things in life but still it is taking time and effort to remember what I have accomplished in this past year.
So in thinking about this big thing coming turning over 30, turning 31. I decided to make a list. So come next year when i am turning 32 I am not sitting on my couch wondering what I did with the last year of my life. I really thought long and hard about these and instead of resolutions which most know never really get accomplished this list is a bit more achievable.
Here we go

1. Start a website for the weddings
2. Get another tattoo
3. Lose at least 31 lbs (one pound for every year old)
4. Go wine tasting
5. At least try a new restaurant every other month
6. Take a road trip somewhere I have not gone yet
7. Rent a cabin or a beach house
8. Write a blog post at least twice a month
9. Go to the gym at least twice a week
10. knit or crochet a blanket
11. Wear heels on date night
12. Get Phoenix certified as a therapy dog
13. Be better organised with bills
14. A good saving plan
15. Take photography classes
16. Buy a real camera
17. Try a really expensive champagne
18. Get in the habit of dog walking three mornings a week (one day one dog three days for three dogs)
19. Get Julia Child's cookbook and try really making her recipes
20. Visit Chicago with Jerry
21. Build a stylish wardrobe
22. See more waterfalls
23. Finish the Game of Thrones Books (I got sidetracked)
24. Make more alone time with Jerry
25. Buy the person behind me coffee and tell them to pay it forward
26. Make something out of one of my food and wine magazines
27. Organise the closets
28. Get a hot stone massage
29. Unplug from my cell phone and Internet for a whole day
30. Use my reusable bags every time I go grocery shopping!
31. Make apple pie from scratch
32. See Picture --->

Not bad and I will try to update you as I go on with this next year 

Other than that on Nov 5 Happy 31st Birthday To Me!!

Nothing....

I have nothing to blog about. I know I made promises to blog more often but every time I get on here to write I have nothing to say. No profound advice no funny stories no book to review (not that I am not reading just nothing new to talk about). I wish I had something because then I realized that I had nothing to write I then got panicked that I was boring. That my life had officially hit a blah spot, an every day mundane blah spot.
We got the kitchen most of the way done, we got the laundry room and bathroom most of the way done, not 100% finished which really kind of make me sad that we just cannot finish it. I bought new lamps they look great in my living room but that is not in the least bit exciting. We have to buy another car, Jerry got a new job, which he adores, but he works day and for the time being he is using Dustin's truck. Dustin still does not have a job so it all works out. Except that the heater core is broken and Jerry is practically freezing to death at 5:30 am when he leaves for work and he does not want to do it for much longer. My family wants to go on a cruise in January for Christmas, but Jerry and I really wanted to do our wedding next year and I have no idea how people would be to afford 2 cruises in one year with everything else that is going on. Part of me (with all the advice we have been given) thinks I should not worry about it and go forward with our plan at hand, we have waited long enough, but then what would my wedding be if none of my immediate family could attend. Jerry and I decided last year when we did taxes to fix the house up first ( again not that we finished) and do the wedding the following year so that babies could be born, people could get their lives in order as well as get houses and jobs and etc. Then we would have the wedding in 2013. As well as the fact that we really wanted a spring date but realized that that maybe to difficult to do so lets go ahead and do the fall and embrace it. But now I feel like that is all going to fall apart yet again and I will never get to have a wedding day. And if one more person tells me just to go to the court house and then have a party I WILL SCREAM! Funny that I should not get the wedding I want because???? I am over that conversation. We will save the money we will pay for it all ourselves telling me I do not get my wedding day just adds to depression I have over not having it yet it does not help or make it better. I have waited 30 years to find someone worth marrying, I have made my ways through many of bad apples (most who dated me then married someone else) I love this man and we both want what we want. Ok done with that rant. I was not meaning to hurt or offend anyone just getting things off my chest so to speak....
The dogs are good the cats are good the turtle is good. We are all healthy, and happy. I am slowly but surely losing weight, we are joining the YMCA, I have rediscovered my love for cooking, Jerry adores his new job, he works more than ever before but he adores it. Lots of craziness going on at his new job, hopefully that means he will move up quickly like he wants to. The "big guys" are in today and he went in over an hour early (which means he left the house at 4:30 am) to make sure all of his ducks were in a row to impress them. I hope everything goes well for him today. I am incredibly proud of him and really want the best for him.  
I guess I had a lot in my head to write about but I feel like I wake up, clean, take the dogs out, go to work, come home, cook, watch TV, play with animals, talk to Jerry go to bed, then wake up and do it all over again. I have not seen the oceans or the mountains in months. But for now I need to get ready for work....I hope everybody has a great day!

Game of Thrones, Fake Kate, Kindles and Roku I am a happy girl.

I love my fiancée have I mentioned that before I love him to the moon. He really is amazing! 
Let me start with a quick story. Our play station broke. Seems like a dumb start for a story but it is what everything steams for to get to the reason I am writing. So when we first begun dating he had gotten me netflix. I just adore movies but I hate paying for the theatre and I am horrible and returning red box movies. I adore it, and it became my good friend at night while Jerry is working. So when the play station broke I started buying more and more books to keep me company. Which as you know can get pricey. So the first thing my fiancée did was get me a Kindle.

 He knows that I had been in love with my Mothers and wanted one for a while now and therefore it was this amazing gift and I am head of heels for it. Plus it the long run it saved him money. I borrow books from the library other Kindle readers and I am content reading the free ones. But I still missed my Netflixs at night. 
We started with the remodel of the kitchen bath and laundry room. Which is still going on. And it has taken over the entire downstairs of my house. I was getting pretty discouraged as well as all the other things going on, Jerry decided to cheer me up and bought me a roku! A little device that can turn most TVs into a computer of sorts. You can access Netflixs, Amazon, among other things, Facebook, games and now  HBOGO. So again my love affair with books and netflix is complete and way easier as well as I am not in love with Game of thrones.

 

OK on to the book review. Fake Kate by David Wailing starts by telling you about these two sisters and how one has gone missing because of something someone said to her from her brand new online dating adventures. Being the other sister and paranoid she decides to dress as her and go on her missing sisters dates to find out if she can discover what has happened. It is so twisted and crazy you almost have to read it to under stand but it is not a bad read jst an odd one I would give it 3 out of 5 stars.

I am simple in love with Game of Thrones. I have finished season one and I was in tears and completely enthralled. I will not give any spoilers but holy cow I cannot believe it took me this long to get into it. It is beyond amazing and truly incredible. Watch it soon it you have not!!! Season three beings next spring you have time to catch up. Just know that it is heart breaking at time as well as takes you are wild rides. You will love and hate and it may cause you to curse at the TV and wish to speak Ol'English.  I will give it 5 out of 5 stars and I am only but half way through.


I do want to say for the record. I love my fiancée to the moon but not just because he buys me things. I would not think I would have to say that but I would not want anyone to think poorly of our love because I wanted to rave about a few gifts. JERRY NAPIER I LOVE YOU!

I just love my Kindle Fire Book Review time (been off my game)

I just adore my Kindle. I can read I can watch TV and movies listen to music surf the Internet. The few things I wish it did I am sure will come in time because it seems to change all the time. 
The most amazing this is that finishing one book now does not mean I am stuck until I can borrow from a friend, get to the library or store before I can become involved with another set of characters that will in some way entrance me and touch my imagination. I just pick the next one! My library now allows you to check out Kindle books, there are free books and as a prime member I can borrow books and I can also share with my family and friends who have Kindles! 
Ok moving on, my book review. 

"YOU HAVE 10SECONDS TO MAKE A DECISION: Let a kidnapper take your child or watch your child die! CHOOSE" Yup that was the line that got me to read this book. 

A quick synopsis- Sadie is a best selling author and proud mama! She loves her son more than anything being her is her miracle baby!  When her six year old apple of her eye is kidnapped she nearly goes insane! She feels fear grief as well as guilt. She is the one person who could possibly break the case of this serial kidnapper but if she says a word he may send her son back to her... in bloody little pieces.

I read this book in 2 days it was a easy read but a good read. I did not really care for the lead character to begin with. She seems week but as the book moves on she gains a bit of strength through it all. There is a lot of play with fate and looking for signs. Which is funny because I love that kind of thing! The ups and downs are quite intense in which you think is this it? It is a great quick read for any of my reader friends! I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars!

Wow this past month has been pretty heavy.  I mean life changing, heart wrenching hard to handle want to run away and hide never to look back maybe live in another country hard.

But that is life, and at the end of the day I am happy with my life to date. Work has been pretty good I have booked a couple wedding recently which is nice. I do really wish I could do the weddings full time but we shall see. Nana has pasted, I am heart broken because I feel like I didn't get enough time. Then I feel like it is my fault that I did not get enough time. I cannot change the past. I have to fill my heart with the memories of what I did have. Here memorial is on July 14 Jerry cannot go due to work so I am sad about that but he never got to meet her (which saddens me even more) but money wise it will work out for us.

Jerry and I started our home improvement projects. I officially have decided that HGTV is a big liar! DIY is not easy it is hard and your house is torn up for weeks and weeks. We also did not sign up for all the water damage from the furnace or the fact that the wax ring on the toilet needed to be replaced or the water lines on the washing machine. So at this time all of those things are fixed, the new floor is put in only in the laundry room and bathroom as of now,and the walls and trim have all been painted but we still have shelves to put up we have to paint and put in the doors, as well as the kitchen and hall way have not even started. Here is the picture so far...

The worse thing about the home improvement is that we went over budget due to the water damage that had to be fixed so therefore the wedding is back on hold. At this rate I have no idea if I will ever get married. Glad I am engaged!!! I get to wear a ring that is super amazing!! The craziest thing about it all is that Jerry has baby fever! Three people in our "inner circle" have all had babies in this past month and all he  keeps talking about is how he is not getting any younger and now he is the only one in his family in a relationship that does not have a child. I feel like that Honda or ford commercial where the girl pauses and says there are so many things I wanna do first!! LOL I want to have a wedding and go to Australia and have a bigger house and be more steady at work. I guess if you keep waiting for the right moment your never ready but I do not think I am quite yet....

My Nana

My Nana passed away today.
And I have lost her.
And I am broken...
I think I secretly thought she would never 
That she couldn't die
Because I was always going to need her
I still need her.
I cannot cook as well as her,
I am not as strong
And I am so mad at God.
She had alzheimer's. It is a mean mean disease.
Maybe the beautiful thing was that I did not ever believe she would go
That I thought thought she will always be there.
I have shock and disbelief
I have guilt
I have anger
and I have fear
BUT most of all I have love. 
I have so much love for her
So much love for the woman who taught me to fry an egg.
To the Nana who would let me drive her shopping
who made me love the grocery store
who taught me how to wear make up
to never leave with out my face on
How to make the best cup of tea
the perfect shade of pink always has some gold
that pearls are perfect for anything
Who chased the boys of the porch when I was 15
She made the best mushroom soup and apple salad and gravy and baconwands
and so much more.
Who made me feel special
Who made me smile
I have lost my Nana
Who loved me...

Katie Fisher Palandri 
06/09/1922 - 06/05/2012 
I loved you so.

Being honest on the weight loss front!

 

 I am doing awful with my weight loss goals. It sucks but I have no one to blame but myself! I would like to actually blame the people who invented cheese, butter, cream anything really that is fatty yet it taste good! The thing that really bugs me is that I think I am I am doing really good and then when I get to my weigh in day and step on the scale that little voice in my head jumps out slaps me and says "I told you so" then to add insult to injury I step off the scale and then step right back on. I get the same results.... so it happens all over again. 

  I have been pretty private about my weight loss goals and trials, but maybe if I put it out there I will be more  I don't know the word... I will have to own it so to speak. Now let me be clear, Jerry loves me the way I am but I need be more happy in my own skin. I see all these beautiful summer clothes coming out and I just get discouraged as to what would look good on me. Now we are our own worse critic I know this through and through. But when that mean little skinny girl in my head is laughing at me I cannot help but to give into her. 

  So Jerry and I (and the mean girl in my head) made a deal. We will first make sure we take the dogs to the dog park at least twice a week- this gives them exercise as well as us time together and it is about a mile walk in the park 2 times a week. Then in turn as long as we stick to that deal we will join a gym. I could not justify paying to go somewhere when we had three dogs that needed attention as well as exercise. So now we are looking into YMCA or Planet Fitness we shall see which one pans out .

  So here I am telling all of you my deep dark secret, in hopes that it will motivate me. I do not need anyone to be mean (the skinny girl in my head is on top of that) but I would love a bit of support to help push me over this hill so to speak, and I promise to update you on the progress as it goes on. 

Kelly Kapoor: I swallowed a tape worm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all of my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months, I take some medicine, and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico. 
Creed Bratton: That wasn't a tapeworm. 

The Office

   

Life is good right now.....But I need some suggestions!!

Let me start with my apology for not writing a lot lately. I guess I could say I have writers block. But moving on from that everything is going pretty well.....

Let's see for starters Jerry and I are actually doing ok $$ wise. I am sure it has a lot to do with working our asses off! Jerry is picking up over time when ever he can, I work 6 days a week on top of trying to book any weddings I can, as well as continuing to help out Lovey where ever we can. As much as I like feeling more financially stable I am exhausted! But with our wants for the future it is a good thing. We just need to work out a more constant saving plan!

We have joined a life group and it is really interesting and helping to open up new conversations in our relationship. We realized that we are not very religious but we both believe in God and I am not going to preach anything to any of you but this was a way to bring it into our relationship with out having to define a religion for ourselves so to speak. 

 We are moving forward with planning the wedding!!1 That goes hand in hand with the money thing but it is a huge thing in my book! We actually looked at wedding bands the other day and we are working with carnival to set the dates! 

I GOT A KINDLE FIRE.... enough said!

Now on to where I need suggestions!!

We are definitely trying to eat healthier but the weight loss has stalled I need to revitalize my motivation any suggestions would be helpful!?

Jerry and I have decided to redo our kitchen but where to start has got us stalled! We know we definitely need cupboards, flooring, and counter tops but this is a town home and we do not plan to live there forever we just want to improve property value while actually doing the job as cheaply as possible. So where should we start??

I also need to make a real website for my wedding business. Anybody out there good at that or know where I can start?

I need a case for my Kindle fire any one who has one know where to get one?

 

I promise I will be writing more from here on out. I miss it and I think I have over come my block! 

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it."

- Rafiki, from The Lion King

OVERWHELMED

I know I have been missing for a month but I think it all goes together. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed!
I think everyone does sometimes but today I actually cried about it. A couple times. I am not trying to complain, I just feel like the last month has been crazy and I cannot catch up. I have been trying super hard at work to excel since my boss is out on medical leave. I feel like he has never really liked me so now when the store needs support this is a great opportunity to show that I am a real asset to the team. I have taken on a new position with another job in the training world and while I love it, the students are not where I thought they were so I have to take a step back and re-evaluate what I am actually doing to make sure I get them where they need to be, as well as the weddings. Which I wish I could so more of but I cannot seem to get a website up and running which is what I need but I have no idea where to start on that.
That is just work. Then there is home life. I adore my home life but I have behind on laundry and cleaning, the litter boxes need attention, my turtle's tank needs a redo, the backyard need to be spring cleaned considering it keeps getting warmer outside, and the everyday daily things I do.
With that in mind my sister was in a car accident with her best friend she is fine but is scared the crap out of me, we have decided to postpone the wedding because no matter how many jobs I take on we cannot seem to get our $$ in order enough to get ahead and really make a dent in the amount we need to have a wedding, there are a bunch of things going on at Jerry's work that are making me nervous as well as him so he has been more exhausted than usually, which is hard considering he works night so therefore I get nervous if he is getting enough rest and or food to keep him healthy. Which can add to the stress on anyone. Jerry's brother is still living with us and still unemployed, he is getting unemployment and now catching up on rent but it have been stressful because whether he wants to admit it or not (and this is my world to vent in) it is hard on us. He is on a stupid sleep schedule and being up all night he eats while Jerry is at work and I am sleeping which would not be such a big deal except when I come down the next day and go in to the kitchen things are gone that I had in my head that I had and therefore it keeps getting harder and harder to plan meals. Which again makes for more stress because something that I think is planned out is not there any more. I also think that Jerry gets frustrated with me when I get overwhelmed and I really get upset thinking about that.   
Please, I am not writing this to make anyone feel bad for me I am just venting. Today was a really bad day and I really need to get my head on straight and get ahead of all these things I just feel like I have no idea where to start. Part of me wants to run away and wish it all away but considering that will not work I was hoping maybe someone had some helpful tips? An idea? A cure?

Catching Fire; Are you kidding me!?!?

So here I sit at 12:19am debating driving to Walmart because I have no idea if I can wait to begin reading the next book. I need to know what is going to happen, I do not want to give anything away to anyone who has not read the books but I need to know! I have to know what they are going to do who is good who is bad and why. I think that is my love/hate with books series, waiting and wanting. I wonder if I am the only one who feels this way. It makes me laugh but then I think you might think I am crazy. Jerry does not read which is hard because he does not get the passion of which I get into a book or a book series, but his brother our room-mate Dustin does, but as I sit here right now Dustin is in bed and I have no one to talk to about this "hunger" but you guys! (did you catch that pretty funny play on words there!) 

If you have not figured it out, I have finished my next book of  Catching Fire, book two of the Hunger Games Series.

I am an absolute mess. I am sad I am angry and I am scared about what could happen next in the last book. I love hate this feeling, I remember the intensity of which I experienced this feeling waiting for the last Harry Potter book to be released, the fear the want the need!!!

I am a book nerd! I saw this picture on Pinterest the other night and I could stop laughing and agreeing so I have to share it with you. 

I cannot decide if I love or hate book series. I mean the pros are that you do get longer and more invested with the characters but then again that could also be the cons of reading series because once it is over it is over and you are not completely in love or hate with the whos and whats in the stories! Never to really know what happens next for them. Plenty of authors try to give you a peek into the future so you feel a sense of completion. Like in the end of Harry Potter you know that he marries and has children, as well as that Hermonie and Ron are good and that there is happiness again in their lives but is that good enough. 

Well clearly I am a nerd, I adore reading and everything emotions and all that come with it. I just hate that I do not have the next book in my hands. This is why I need a kindle because I could have it right now if I did!  Instead I sit here in sadness seriously debating going out with the freaks at midnight, venturing to Wally World just to quench the want in my head and my heart! The crisp night air, the fact that I would have to drive Dustin  truck with the faulty breaks all weighs on my mind if I could make it to the craziness of the hour superstore, what to do what to do....

Well now that it is 1am I have decided not to go but I will have it tomorrow come rain or shine and if my intensity did not give it away you need to read this series if you have not started go get them, just be smarted than me and get all three at once.

Hunger Games

I will try to review every book I read this year to keep track of what I have read and help share the wonderful world of books with you all. 
So my first book of 2012 HUNGER GAMES!

Amazing....
I know that some of you may not be in to young adult books, or fantasy or anything like that. I am a late comer when it comes to this series but I highly recommend it. 
The author, Suzanne Collins, has a very beautiful way of writing, you can see every leaf of her trees and feel the joy and pain of the characters without trying. Not that I want to give to much away so that you will read it for yourself but I will tell you a bit. It starts in the future the whole world has changed. The main character is a female names Katniss, I think most can identify with her. She has a very strong will and love for her family while at the same time being a girl that is still trying to find herself. The government is extremely corrupt and controlling, and they have invented the Hunger Games to prove their power of the people. The pin children against the elements and each other while making the world watch. They pick 2 children from every district (a boy and a girl) and then let the games begin...
Please give it a chance I promise it is an easy read but you will love it and Thank me. I have started book 2 in the series Catching Fire and will let you know soon how it is I only hope that you have also begun the first one by that time. 


“Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!”
-Effie Trinket

Secrets from the Stylist Chair; Chapter One.

I decided that I should not only use this blog to rant and rave but maybe it can be an educational tool that will allow me to share secrets with you about the salon as well as letting me express myself in a safe environment. So we shall begin the secrets from the stylist hair, I will try and add these when I fell they are relevant and hopefully you all can learn something while being thoroughly entertained! 

So lets start with the biggest secret there is. MONEY. From the TV and reality shows it look like hair stylist are rolling in the $$ but if you really pay attention to say Tabitha on Salon Take Overs most of the owners are going broke, as well as the stylist complaining about not making any money. Here is the skinny, we do not get paid to be at work. That pretty much says it all but for those of you scratching your head in confusion I will explain. Very few salons pay hourly actually only salons like Super Cuts and or Ultas pay any kind of hourly rate. Most salons are commission based or rental. 

A commission based stylist is someone who makes a % of what they do in a week. For example if your hair cut cost you $50 the salon gets $25.00 then the stylist gets $25- TAX= Pay. Make sense. Now a booth rent stylist is someone who pays the owner of the building a fee every week but they keep everything they make. Again example you may pay $50 for your haircut and the stylist keeps it but then on Friday the stylist must give the own $200. Now there are different perks to the two. In a commission based salon all the bills are paid by the owner as well as most also cover all products. In a booth rental situation you cover most of your products down to toilet paper and phone line. A commissioned salon takes your taxes out, a booth rent you take care of your own taxes. So on and so forth.

The hardest thing I think no matter what about being a stylist especially in this economy is that a lot of time is spent at work doing nothing, the waiting game. Waiting to see if a client walks in if maybe I get another appointment. Maybe someone will need something done! A large amount of my time is spent in a back room thinking about all the things I need to get done but staying at work just in case. There are days when in cost me more to come to work then I make in the day. It is really heartbreaking at times. You get use to it, but then again you really don't.

The lesson that I hope you gather for this is that no matter how your stylist is paid, when you do not show up to your appointment or you decided that you could go another week or do it at home you are hurting them. Someone friend son daughter mother fiancée is sitting at work waiting for you. As well as all of those times you love your hair but do not remember to tell anyone who did it, we do rely on word of mouth to help us a lot. I challenge all my readers to call your stylist and get a service even if it is just a blow dry on like a Tuesday or a Thursday when times are the slowest in the salon world. I promise you will feel great and you will make your stylist smile. 

Remember shhhhh this is a secret from a stylist chair

Maya Angelou: But it is not a bad thing or a good thing, it's hair. 

I am a Gamer!

I love video games. I am a huge dork or whatever you want to call me but I DO! I love playing video games. I have for a long time.  Even when I worked on board cruise ships I played video games that we had in the crew mess. At present I have a NES, a Game Cube, a WII, a PS3 and an original Xbox. Which all work. I am a big Nintendo fan though, and I am not a fan of first person shooters. Those games for those of you not hip to the lingo include titles like Call of Duty, Doom etc. Jerry said that I like RPGs. Really... Now I sound like even a bigger dork!
I decided to tell you this because in the past 2 days I have become obsessed. My amazing wonderful fiancee Jerry bought me the new Zelda game for WII. Skyward Sword. It is fantastic. The best Nintendo has come out with in a while. To properly review this game let me tell you this. It has everything that makes Zelda wonderful, you have to talk to people and you have "puzzles" of sort to figure out, you have a huge mission with a bunch of funny little ones, you are still Link and you still are in love with Zelda. Now what makes it better, you actually get to speak back to people at points with choices to be a jerk if you are so inclined, there seems to be a bit more realism in this very fantasy world, the "puzzles" are actually really hard. Now the bit of bad, Zelda is kind of annoying and you are not to sad when she does get kidnapped, I will save her because as Link that is what I do with my life but in this particular version I am was not inclined to be as concerned with her "safety" at first so to speak. But that is it it, the game is stellar.
So stellar in fact last night (the first night I had it) I played until 3am. Tonight I played for a good while and as I write this Dustin is starting his own file on the game. I am actually enjoying watching him try his hand at the game.

I am truly a Nintendo fan through and through. I play a few games on the Xbox and PS3 (Little Big Planet is amazing!) but I am a Mario and Zelda girl those are the games I live for. The games that turn me into a big gamer nerd and I am proud of it!

Anything to get away from the laundry mountain.

I hate laundry, I am sure you never imagined when you decided to read this blog that I would start with that but I am. I hate laundry. There are things I love too, my animals, cooking, my dvr, reading, doing hair, weddings, the list could go on. I needed to do something for me, my sister tells me I am funny and a friend who blog inspired me for a whole year so yes I am blogging!


To explain me I should explain what I have done to lead me here. I am 30 years old, I got engaged almost a year ago and plan (hope) to get married this year. I have traveled all over the world work on board cruise ships. Seen amazing things experienced something that people only dream about and now when now I am watching my DVR  awaiting the buzzing of the dryer. Now please do not take that the wrong way, I am incredibly happy and enjoy my life I just feel lost and need to find the part that is missing. Give me a better way then writing things down. A childhood therapist said to journal and this is a form of that I am just asking you the reading to give your opinions nice or otherwise I will take them in strides. 

Being new to this I am not quite hip to the how too, so hopefully my post will get better as I go on. I am going to try to post twice a week there may be more there may be less but I want to try to see how I can stick to this. It is one of the many new years resolutions I have. I first and for-most want to lose weight for my wedding. My fiancee (Jerry-talk more about him later) says he love me the way I am and can do what ever I feel but I really and truly want to like myself in my wedding photos. Considering how much I like pictures, I need to like the way I look the day that all photo (well most) will have me in them. The Blog is another one, step one today on that one. The third is to be more money aware (?) We are not poor by any means, I have a beautiful town home I own, beautiful animals, great things and gadgets, but we struggle to keep ahead and I am so tired of feeling like a failure for that very reason. So that would lead into the final resolution be to find out what I am really passionate about and do it, that is the big one so to speak. It sound vain when I write it down but here's the deal. I adore doing hair and I believe I am very good at and have done a lot with it in my 30 years. I have worked around the world on ocean liners, I worked for a major manufacturer as a trainer until they downsized, but ever since then with the economy or whatever it gets harder and harder to do. I started last year doing weddings on locations which I absolutely adore and do very well , but I would have to invest in it (a website, advertising, etc) to really get it off the ground considering the woman whom used to so all that with me moved to LA. The there are animals I have always thought I wanted to be a vet or a tech or a trainer or something so should I take that money to go to school and start the wedding hair business. I am so lost hence the resolutions. 


Now you just may come to the conclusion that I am out of my mind, with this economy what am I thinking, why am I lost if I love my life how can that be.... Well it is what it is take it or leave it. I love Jerry with my whole self, he is a wonderful man and I could not be happier. I cannot wait to marry him and hope I can afford too soon (another money problem). My animals are amazing could use more training on certain things, but amazing none the less. I adore cooking and trying to be healthy with it is a whole new challenge for me. Reading and movies are indeed my favourite pastime. Netflixs being my favourite and I am now seeing the reason why I really do want a kindle! But that is life thus far. That is who I am and where I am and I hope you will continue to read when I post and go along with me on this adventure. Maybe you will be inspired... I have decided to try to end every post with a book or movie quote so the one best suited for this blog that I can think of is....
"you think... what the hell. Life goes on. Maybe there won't be marriage... maybe there won't be sex... but, by God, there'll be dancing. " George from My Best Friends Wedding